Goonen

What begins online as a seemingly isolated trend around "edging" and prolonged self-stimulation turns out in reality to be a broader digital subculture in which young people experiment with stimuli, identity and intimacy.

Gooning is not only about sexual behaviour, but about a state of fixation: losing yourself in stimuli to the point where time, context and boundaries become blurred. In chats, forums and meme culture this is glorified as a kind of trance in which you "are nothing but feeling".

Behind closed accounts and niche channels, small communities emerge that normalise and encourage this state and sometimes make it competitive: longer, more intense, more often. Young people come there not only for sexual excitement, but also for connection, humour, recognition and a sense of belonging.

To outsiders it looks like a bizarre internet joke. Yet gooning touches on themes such as digital addiction, performance pressure, alienation and the search for control. It can become part of patterns in which young people withdraw, normalise risks or become dependent on pornographic stimuli.

Behind the explicit images lie understandable needs:

• Escape: it provides a moment of relief from stress, insecurity or performance pressure.
• Control: you determine the intensity yourself, a form of grip in a chaotic world.
• Community: within online groups, young people feel seen and validated.
• Identity and humour: it fits into an internet culture in which pushing boundaries, irony and extreme exaggeration are normal.
• Excitement: for some, the trance-like state feels like a way to dampen emotions or, on the contrary, to feel something.

What begins as an experiment can grow into a pattern in which young people become increasingly dependent on stimuli and digital validation.

• Neuropsychological kick: repeatedly building up and breaking off tension produces strong reward stimuli.
• Digital normalisation: memes and online communities present it as something humorous, performance-oriented or cool.
• Escapism: it offers a brief, intense escape from stress, loneliness or low mood.
• No social inhibition: it takes place behind a screen; shame or outside feedback is absent.
• Reinforcing feedback loops: young people compare themselves with others, so that challenge and intensity increase.
• Isolation: the more someone withdraws, the greater the chance that online stimulus-seeking behaviour takes a fixed place.

• Increasing isolation, especially in the evenings or at night.
• Strong fixation on pornography, with an emphasis on prolonged sessions or extreme stimuli.
• Statements about "trance", "breaking away from everything" or "disappearing into feeling".
• Secretive behaviour around devices, tabs, accounts or online communities.
• Changes in mood: irritability, fatigue, withdrawal, shame.
• Problems in relationships or intimacy because normal stimuli no longer seem "enough".

No single signal is proof in itself. It is about coherence and change in behaviour.

• Acknowledge the function: young people are seeking excitement, closeness or calm. Name that without approving of the behaviour.
• Normalise conversation about sexuality: make it safe to talk about without taboo.
• Encourage realistic expectations of intimacy: discuss what pornography does and does not show.
• Check mental load: explore stress, loneliness or substances that reinforce the behaviour.
• Work across the network: share signals within the team if there are concerns; act within the framework of the GDPR (AVG).
• Offer alternatives: think of sport, social activities, stress reduction or support with relationships.
• Stay close: young people who want to cut down or stop need support, especially in the event of relapse.

In a group setting
- "What do you see as healthy boundaries in online sexual behaviour?"
- "When does seeking excitement become unhealthy or addictive?"
- "How does pornography shape your view of intimacy or relationships?"
- "What role do memes or online groups play in what you consider normal?"

One-to-one
- "What does gooning give you that you get less of elsewhere?"
- "How do you notice when seeking excitement sometimes tips over into dependence?"
- "Is there anyone online who is steering, challenging or influencing you?"
- "How do you feel afterwards: relieved, empty, guilty, stuck?"

Stay calm and non-judgemental. Shame around sexual behaviour is considerable; pressure or a moralising tone is counterproductive.

• TrendSein – 'Goonen': De aantrekkingskracht van ontvluchting, controle en digitale intimiteit (TrendSein newsletter, Trendsein - Goonen.pdf, pp. 1–7)